Stranger 25, Day 25 – Meet Renice, the “Loyal Friend”

Stranger 25, Day 25 - Meet Renice

This fantastic Atlanta has me outside a lot on the patio of the local Starbucks, and I meet some great people just chilling and catching some sun. I am completely unconcerned about interviewing a ton of people from Starbucks because these are my “everyday” people. Today, same thing — got a chance to meet a highly energetic, happy woman as she caught some rays while waiting for her car service to be done. From the moment I asked her if she’d like to be my “Stranger for the Day” (that sounds weird, but it’s funny), I knew she was going to be full of energy and a great connection.

So let me let you…

Meet Renice, 30 (like “Venice” but with an “R”)

Who are you?

Renice laughs… “What do you mean?! I don’t know what answer you’re looking for!”

“I am a…” Renice breaks out laughing again as she thinks. “I am genuine, but strong, independent 30-year-old female.”

“… who enjoys helping other people, and extremely loyal to my friends. My friends and family mean everything to me.”

What are your Passions? Do you have any Dreams? If so, what are they?

“My career… I’m already living my dream sort of. I love my career — I’m a Physician Assistant. I’m actually transitioning from orthopedic surgery to plastic surgery. It’s probably the biggest decision in my life up to this date. I love my job. I love my boss. I love what I do, but I was just presented a new opportunity that I couldn’t pass up. And I really believe I’ll be able to cultivate it to be my dream job essentially.

I ask her what her passions are.

“My passions are… I enjoying being a good friend. I love hanging out with my friends and my family. My sister is my best friend. Although, she does live in Australia, we still talk everyday. I like exercising a lot, just finding new ways to stay healthy. I love… animals!” She’s laughing again as she says, “animals”. She tells me she’s thinking about her cat, and how her friends refer to her as a “cat lady”. Though, to be fair, she’s only got one cat. Don’t think one qualifies her, just yet.

“Lately I’ve been trying to be passionate about this… living in the moment.”

How do you do that?

“Whenever my thoughts start focusing on worries and fears about the future… such as money, still being single at 30, what if this job decision is the incorrect one?… I just try to redirect my thoughts. Let those thoughts come and pass, and then redirect my focus on ‘what are you doing today, and enjoying this moment today.’ Enjoy who you’re with and being present with who you’re with.”

I share with her how several Strangers have mentioned similar realizations and efforts to live in the moment.

“It’s all part of being human, and being Americans — our culture is just so fast-paced. It’s so easy to get caught up into materialistic things and worries over things you just can’t control. A lot of it is about pushing that control and being present.”

She continues, “it’s easier said than done, right?”

How did you make this transition from being a PA in orthopedics to plastic surgery?

“Because I’ve only been a PA for 5 years, and I’ve done orthopedic surgery since I got out of school. So when I moved back to Atlanta, I was in this huge transitional period and I got this job. I just have an amazing boss that I work really well with. I love what I do. I love my patients. I love working with my boss.”

“I’ve been feeling like I was in a rut so I was kind of looking for a change, but just didn’t really know what that was. I never considered leaving my job just because I was happy. So why would I leave? I wouldn’t ever look for another orthopedic job.” She shares how her new boss reached out to her about this new position, and the she had worked with the boss long ago. It took Renice two weeks to think about it and “soul-searching”, and she decided that it was “probably a good career move for me for the future.”

“BUT! It’s hard leaving people that you really enjoy working with for another group you know you’re going to enjoy working with.”

“I just feel this loyalty to them, but I need to do what’s best for me.”

We talked about this loyalty piece as she’s mentioned it several times in our short conversation so far. Plus, I was curious about how she maintains loyalty while still looking out for herself and still seek out new opportunities and friends.

“Jobs and friends are kind of different. I pride myself on being a good employee and as a good friend. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve got to learn and find out… I’m not going to put my energy into a friendship that is not being reciprocated, or I’m not getting anything positive from that. I’ve realized, ‘why am I making all this effort to be a good friend to them, if I don’t feel like I’m not getting the same in return?’ I understand everybody’s doing the best that they can, but if they’re not making me feel good about who I am then I don’t really want them in my life. I’ll separate myself from that situation.”

“Job situations are different though because it’s been very equal for the past few years.”

Is there a reason for why loyalty is such a big piece for you?

“I don’t know. My friends have always described me as that. It’s just who I am.” She laughs that she wished there was something “life-defining” for her, but that’s just who she is. I don’t think she needs a life-defining moment.

She shares how she has had a few bad break-ups in the past and other “stuff in my life”. She appreciates the many people who stuck around with her through everything. She seems extremely grateful to her friends who have always been with her.

What’s important for friends to keep in mind to being a good friend for others during times of hardship?

“Communication is key for any type of relationship — whether it’s working or friendship or love interests. I think that for me, I just make a huge effort to communicate and listen. Listening is key. So I listen with my friends for when they want to talk. If they don’t want to talk, then I don’t.”

She shares how even if her friends just needs a body sitting next to them, she’ll do that.

“Try to be in tune with what they are needing at that time.”

“Also, it’s important to not always put others first. Put your needs first because you can get caught up.” I think the key part to Renice’s advice here is the importance of taking care of herself so that she can take care of others.

Do you have a big life lesson you’d like to share?

Renice thinks about this one for a while.

“I think the biggest thing I’ve come to terms with — no matter in life what mistakes you might’ve made in the past… for me, I was in a relationship for a very long time with the wrong time. I wanted it to work so badly, and I moved across states to be with him, and the relationship crumbled apart. For so long, it was so hard for me to accept…”

“You wasted so much time… I was really hard on myself for ‘why didn’t you get out when you knew it probably wasn’t right deep down inside, and why are we trying to make something work? Why are you trying so hard that you’re trying to make something work that you knew wasn’t right?’ And I really had to learn that you can’t blame yourself. That was life. All you can do is move forward and take away who you’ve become since that, and now you know what it is you do want and what it is you don’t want. Try not to focus on that time being ‘wasted’ time. Time is all you have essentially, so try not to look at it as a waste.”

She laughs again almost as if she’s trying to brighten the talk again.

What do you love and admire most about yourself?

“I love that I’m very compassionate, and I love that I’m extremely loyal. And I also do love that I’m a straight-shooter. I’m pretty much going to tell you what I think… whether you want to hear it or not!” Haha, she laughs. “I’m just pretty direct.”

I share with her how when I first approached her and she answered, “yeah!” I immediately felt she was going to give me a straight answer — she’ll either be all up for it, or flat out “no!”.

What is a common misperception about you that you wished people who know about you? (What you’d like to dispel?)

Renice was pretty quick, “I think I already know the answer to this question.”

“I get really frustrated because I do have a strong, very direct, straight forward-type of personality. I feel a lot of people forget that I still have feelings that I’m actually a pretty sensitive person.”

“… yeah, that bothers me. Yeah, I’m honest, and I don’t play games with people and life. But I’m still human and have feelings! Doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m always this extremely strong person.”

We talked about this for a moment especially given her straight-forwardness, she probably appreciates that, too. For her speaking to others and when she receives, she needs balance of being honest with empathy.

“I try to do that with other people — I try to consider their feelings. Even though I’m going to tell them how I feel, I try to communicate that in a way that’s respectful of them. I feel like some people when they first meet me, they’re like, ‘oh Renice will just tell you what it is’, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care. It means I care.”

What is your biggest fear? (Thanks to Jacqui, Stranger 24)

“Being alone.”

“… or not finding my person in life. Right now, that’s my biggest fear. Because I’m at that point and age where every single one of my friends have found their person. So my biggest fear is that I’ll never find that person, and I’ll just always be alone when I want to share a life with someone.”

I didn’t want to downplay her fear, but I did point out that she’d always have her cat. She breaks out into laughter — “EXACTLY!”

What would you like to ask tomorrow’s Stranger?

“If you could change one decision in your life, what would it be? And why!?”

After the handshake.

Renice is a bundle of energy. She’s incredibly happy even as she shares some more intimate details of her life like her biggest fears. Each question ends with laughing and smiling. She is the type of person who gives me so much energy while connecting with Strangers.

I definitely don’t think she’s going to be alone… not even for very long. Her energy is great, she’s bright, and she’s got a passion in her life — mainly, her career. Also, I love that she said “career” vs. “job”.

Meet Renice. No longer a Stranger.

1 reply
  1. Kenneth
    Kenneth says:

    According to physics everything is in a state of vibration and what you tapped into is the dynamic magnetic attraction of Renice.

    Renice outgoing personality is a reflection of her inner beauty. We all have F.E.A.R.
    False
    Evidence
    Appearing
    Real

    Yet Renice approaches her fears like the way she does her career and her runs to the park, openhearted and joyful.

    Reply

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